Building Strong Foundations: How to Embrace Your Worth

If you have struggled with low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth, you know how important it is to learn how to validate yourself. Validating yourself means acknowledging and recognising your own feelings, thoughts, and experiences as valid and worthy of attention, regardless of what others may think or say.

Various societal influences place great emphasis on external validation, with a constant pressure to conform to certain standards of beauty, behaviour, success or 'normality'.

We are bombarded with messages telling us we need to have a certain appearance, achieve certain goals, or accumulate certain possessions in order to be worthy or successful. This focus on external validation can create a fragile foundation for our sense of self-worth, as we become reliant on the approval and validation of others in order to feel good about ourselves.

The antidote to this is learning to validate ourselves from within. This means building a strong foundation of self-worth and self-compassion, based on our own values and beliefs, rather than seeking validation from external sources.

This can involve challenging negative self-talk, practising self-compassion and seeking out supportive relationships. By building this foundation of self-validation, we can create a sense of resilience and confidence in ourselves that is not easily swayed by external influences.

So, how do you begin to validate yourself?

Here are some tips that have helped me on my journey:

Practice mindfulness

One of the first steps in self-validation is becoming more aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and needs. This means learning to pay attention to your inner experiences and listen to your own intuition and gut instincts. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and journaling, can be helpful tools in this process.

Seek out supportive relationships

Surrounding yourself with people who are supportive and accepting of you can help you feel more validated and confident in your own experiences. Look for friends and loved ones who are non-judgemental and willing to listen to you without trying to fix or change you.

Challenge negative self-talk

It can be easy to fall into the trap of negative self-talk, especially if you have a history of criticism or trauma. But learning to challenge and reframe these negative thoughts can be a powerful tool in building self-validation. For example, instead of telling yourself "I'm not good enough," try saying "I may not be perfect, but I am worthy and deserving of love and respect."

Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion means being kind and understanding towards yourself, even when you make mistakes or encounter challenges. It's important to remember that no one is perfect and that it's okay to make mistakes or have moments of weakness. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself in a kind and understanding way and reminding yourself that you are worthy of love and care regardless of the way you feel.

Seek out validation from sources outside of yourself

While it's important to learn how to validate yourself, it can also be helpful to seek validation from others. This might mean asking for feedback from trusted friends or loved ones, or seeking out therapy or other forms of support. Remember, validation from others is not a replacement for self-validation, but it can be an important supplement in building confidence and self-worth.

Learning to do this with discernment is a process that takes time and practice. It may involve some challenges and setbacks, but with patience and dedication, you can build a foundation of self-worth and self-compassion that will serve you well in the long-term.

Have you had any experience with this? Would you like to tell your story? Contact Perceptionsbypaige@gmail.com or drop a quick message in the comments.